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:: SAMPLE PASSAGES ::
[25th Anniversary] As my parents celebrate their 25th Anniversary, I cannot help but to be reminded about how fortunate I am to have two incredible parents....who gave birth to such a handsome guy like me.
[Award Speech] I am a lawyer. Strike One. I am a salesman. Strike two. I sell to lawyers. Strike three, time for me to sit down.
[Award Speech] As I stand here to accept this award and I look around the room, I realize something very important. I truly do deserve this award. And not only that, I am really one of the best looking people in this room.
[Award Speech] But alas, let me not rub this in any more, afterall, I am already standing here with the award...and you are not.
[Retirement Speech] Today, as I say farewell to my colleagues and friends and enter a new phase in my life, I must stop and say "thank you" to each and every one of you. Each of you has touched my life in some way. I may not miss the alarm clock every morning, but I will miss seeing each of you every morning.
[Baby Poem Passage]
From his first words and his attempts to talk,
To his first steps and his attempts to walk,
You'll watch him grow and be his biggest fan,
Sharing each moment, like only a mother can.
[Baby Poem Passage]
Perhaps she'll grow up in your footseps,
Or have her on flair.
Perhaps, so many things, so many who's, what's and where's.
Perhaps, so many worries go through your head
As she naps.
But let's look at we do know, rather than perhaps.
[Baby Poem Passage]
You'll count ten little fingers and ten little toes,
You'll look at two big eyes and a cute little nose.
From all those hours of trying to pick out a name,
You'll be holding your beautiful Matthew James.
[Wedding Poem Passage]
As a little girl, I used to dream of walking down the aisle,
In a beautiful white dress with a train for a mile.
With flowers that cascade and stream.
Walking towards the man of my dreams.
[Wedding Poem Passage]
I wish you both happiness and years of health and love,
I wish your lives are blessed from God in heaven above.
And above all else, I hope that one day God sends you a special pearl,
Which is the love shared by a mother and her little girl.
[Wedding Poem Passage]
You were the one who brought him into this world,
You were the one who taught him how to treat a girl.
You are the one I thank today as we marry,
Because it is you who made Larry, Larry.
[New Home Poem Passage]
Hear ye, Hear ye, may I have your attention plase?!?!
A messge to be posted on all the trees.
Moving into this town is our own Margaret and Kip.
Please expect your property values to dip!
[New Home Poem Passage]
As your neighbors watched you move in this week,
When they saw your taste, did they begin to shriek?
Your couch alone can make them cringe and shudder,
If they ask me, I'll deny you're my brother!
[New Home Poem Passage]
To those on the outside it may seem like mortar and stone,
For the two of you, it is about to become your home.
I hope it is blessed from God in the heavens above,
And I hope it is filled with health, happiness and love.
Tonight, as we raise our glasses and hope to God that our antiperspirant is working...
When my brother asked me to be his Best Man, I was pretty shocked. I mean, let's face it, we all thought Jenna would eventually come to her senses and dump him...
If anyone questions Susan's love for Paul, all they have to do is look into her bloodshot eyes...oh, wait...I meant her blue eyes, yeah that's it, her blue eyes...
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